I miss...

(just as a preface, i miss people, and lots of them. family and friends. too many to list here)

I miss baby swiss cheese.
I miss Barnes and Noble, where EVERY section is filled with books I can read.
I miss driving my car in the springtime, running errands on a day off with my window rolled down and my ipod plugged into the stereo.
I miss having strangers make eye contact every once in a while, nodding and saying "hi".
I miss playing volleyball.
I miss stacking my chips at a poker table.
I miss playing all games really. The mental exercise gets me by.
I miss visiting Fargo every once in a while. Old, familiar sights and sounds seem to center me when I feel lost sometimes.
I miss fields, big parks, open grassy areas. A place to play catch or toss a frisbee. Or even just a place where you can see further then 50 yards away.
I miss water, especially on my bare feet hanging off the dock.
I miss Mexican food.
I miss selection, having more than one or two of something to choose from.
I miss small talk.
I miss buying a new cd at Best Buy, wrestling with the plastic wrapping in the driver's seat of my car, and turning it up to the limits of my factory installed speaker system on the way home.
I miss beautiful clouds.
I miss always feeling comfortable in my surroundings.
I miss gardens.
I miss Skippy Honey Roasted Crunchy Peanut Butter.
I miss going out for breakfast.
I miss sandwiches.
I miss roast beef.
I miss enchiladas. (i'm repeating myself. i know)
I miss chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.
I miss ovens.
I miss going to concerts, big or small.
I miss making a great block and making someone on the opposing team very unhappy.
I miss roadtrips.
I miss malls.
I miss hot tubs.
I miss lefse.
I miss settling in on the couch on Sunday with a toasted steak and cheese footlong or a Chipotle barbacoa burrito and watching Tarvaris Jackson disappoint.
I miss my global ignorance.
I miss reading a newspaper at a bartop.
I miss going out of my way to drive around Lake Calhoun.
I miss the friends/family per capita ratio.
I miss junior mints in a cool movie theater.
I miss knowing what things are, at the grocery store.
I miss Patrick's French Bakery.
I miss my twice-a-summer golf outings.
I miss driving through Lindenwood Park at 3 miles an hour.
I miss traffic police.
I miss Burroughs Elementary. (I'm with you Principal Cadotte!)
I miss slicing apples at PFChangs for no reason whatsoever.
I miss soft beds.
I miss having co-workers ask for and listen to my opinion.
I miss seeing dogs larger than a loaf of banana bread.
I miss barbershops.
I miss my nephews Trent, Jaden, and Lawson, and my neice Ceres very very very very much. (I know I said no people, but I HAD to make an exception.)
I miss trying a new flavor of Mountain Dew every few months.
I miss libraries.
I miss being able to buy single bananas.
I miss malts.
I miss counterspace.
I miss Walgreens.
I miss Best Buy. (deja vu)
I miss finding shirts and jeans that fit.
I miss normal socks.
I miss the state fair.
I miss sheets. (Correction. I DID miss sheets until I had some shipped here.)
I miss having a beer while bowling.
I miss Captain Morgan.
I miss TGIFridays bar. Any of them.
I miss feeling in control of my situation.
I miss quarters.
I miss Billiards on Broadway.
I miss comic book stores.
I miss baseball games.
I miss grilling a steak and drinking a nice glass of malbec.
I miss spending time with friends.
I miss Fireside Pizza. (or Duanes if I'm in Fargo)
I miss my dad watching sportscenter.
I miss my mom making rice krispy bars.
I miss my grandma's hugs.
I miss so many things.
I miss not missing so many things.

I just had to get that out. No worries. I can make a list of things that I WILL miss once I leave Seoul as well. Another day perhaps.

~tony

different

This weeks marks the beginning of the new school year here in Korea. First there was New Year's, then Chinese New Year's, now a new school year. Lots of new beginnings.

It's so tempting to face each new year as a fresh start. A chance to right wrongs. A chance to make great leaps. A chance to be a different person than you are now. A better person.

(I'm not really talking about New Year's resolutions. Today, resolutions are more like Santa Claus. We like to think about them once a year, but we all know they aren't real.)

Maybe you are a self-critical person. Perhaps not, but either way I'd be willing to bet there's something you want to change. Maybe you want to start seriously looking after your body's health. Maybe revive a once deep relationship that has now withered away. Maybe you think you don't voice your love to the ones you love often enough. Or there is something in you that you want to get rid of; an anger, a sadness, a deep wound that just won't heal. Maybe you feel lost, and the new year is a chance to head down a new path. There has to be something, some change. Something to grab hold of and pray that it lifts you forward. or maybe not.

I don't have anything earth-shattering to share, if that's what you're thinking. I've just been in a more contemplative mood as of late. Money has been a little tight, so evenings spent reading or (I admit it) playing games on my computer are the norm. I'm trying to write when I can. I work on my script, if only in my head. I'm cruising through books at a pace that I haven't seen since my literature class days at NDSU. Since I returned from China I have finished Philip Roth's The Plot Against America, Leif Enger's Peace Like a River, Haruki Murakami's After the Quake, and now I'm reading The Shack. Maybe that's why I'm a bit moody. I surround myself with gut-wrenching books!!! hehe

As a side note, I need to make a reccomendation to you. After the Quake is a collection of Short stories by Murakami. He's not a household name in the US, but he is in the rest of the world. He's a Japanese author and Norweigan Wood is his most famous work. The stories in After the Quake are all stories that take place around the time of the huge earthquake that hit Kobe, Japan in 1995. The earthquake is not a main character in the stories, but simply a common thread. Anyways, the final story in the book is titled Honey Pie. It is a love story, but not a traditional one. It is excellent. Simple and touching are two words I'd use to describe it. Sometime you should take 30 minutes of your day and read it. Maybe you won't see it as I do. Who knows. I'll include a link to the story below, in case you don't feel like hunting down the hard copy. And yes, I know that reading a story from a webpage is not the way to go, but hey. It's free!

http://wis.cs.ucla.edu/~hxwang/newyorker/blog/files/honeypiemurakami.html

Speaking of reccomendations, not too long ago a friend here in Korea turned me on to the ancient greek poet Sappho and her fragments. Most of her poetry has been lost, but many small fragments have been recovered and translated. They are very short, some only a few words, but at the same time they are big. Reading them sparked an interest in me to try my hand, and I'm gonna share some of mine with you. If it seems self-serving to submit readers of a travel blog to my amateur poetic endeavors, oh well. As I stated earlier, we all have things that we want to change. Perhaps I want to express myself more. Share more about myself. Stop hiding behind pleasantries and details. Stop looking so hard for the reasons why I shouldn't.

So here ya go. My fragments....


Blues and lavenders
drowning greys and browns.


The calm crown of morning.


Strength and age differ.


As the sun shines,
shadows chill.


To play in the treehouse
today.


Beyond my sight
you are far.


Channeling demons,
a heat
without thought.
Ecstasy.


Grasping at flotsam
but slipping beneath,
into the borrowed world.


If we are mostly water
what is rain?


Without my sowing
I find a flower.


The ultimate trust
or a bending branch,
but a burning all the same.


It feels good to be right,
alone.


I lose sight of my wooded path
up over the coming hill.


Trust a lake or mountain to remain
after 40 years
but little else.


Love doesn't need you
to believe.


My dreams deceive me.


If perfection is unattainable,
redefine.


Vibrant and joyous,
not knowing the world.


I lie awake as Korea dreams.


My love goes out to you all. Take care of yourselves ~tony

How have you been?

I realize that in almost every post I end up apologizing for the long lapse between entries. I'll do the same now, since it has been going on 2 months now. My apologies!!!

Well, I recently returned from my Wacky Chinese Adventure; one week in Beijing and one week in Shanghai. I had wanted to get a little further south, but the tickets were unavailable due to the Chinese New Year. I was travelling alone, also not my original plan, but things worked out.

China. I've wanted to go for many years now. Growing up going to school in the Midwest (I'm biased, but truly the best educational foundation you can ask for) I know a bit about history and geography. We learn about American history starting early in grade school. European history follows shortly thereafter. We learn about Sumeria, Egypt, Carthage, Rome, Alexandria, London, Paris, Moscow, and Berlin. We read about the pyramids, the Battle of the Bulge, the Crusades, the Inquisition, various monarchies, and countless other famed historical events. World history in junior high branches out a bit; a little Africa, a little Asia, but very little. Come high school, electives come into play. If you don't want to take any history or geography beyond the basics, you don't. In college, sociology is about the closest anyone ever gets to history unless your major calls for it. So............one of the most prolific, most documented, and longest lasting cultures in the world remains a mystery.

What do you know about China? Maybe a lot, but I'm guessing not much. No offense. I don't either. We know that Beijing is a big city. There are a zillion Chinese people. Their script looks like.....Chinese! They hosted the Olympics last year. They are communist. They have a big wall. Kung Pao Chicken is yummy. If you are older than 26, you may know that they just got Hong Kong back from the British. If you read the news, you may know that they have some serious milk and lead paint issues. They had some horrific earthquakes last year. Does that about cover it? Probably.

Don't get me wrong. I'll travel anywhere. I want to go to Paris and Adelaide and Rome and Oslo and anywhere else you'd like to send me. I am not well-travelled, and I'd love to remedy that. But if I had to prioritize.....I guess I'd first want to see things that I've never seen. Not in textbooks. Not on TV. Not in movies starring Ralph Fiennes or Emma Thompson. I want to see those unknown things that I've never seen. I want to learn things that I never would have known. A beach is beautiful and warm and wonderful, but spending a week on one won't make me grow as a person. It won't show me a world I've never seen. It won't open my eyes to a completely new point of view.

I loved China. I didn't know what to expect, so each day was like a little adventure. What food will I find? Where will I go? What kind of people will I meet? Oddly enough, I found China to have quite a few similarities to the US. People seemed very down to earth, unlike Korea. There are all sorts of people there; little skater punks, clubbing 24-year-old girls, overbearing parents, dads shopping with a papoose on their backs, 33-year-old moms with pink hair.

Maybe it seems silly to say that people there are people, but that's not what most people in the US think of when they imagine life in China. Communist China is not like the stories we've all heard of Communist Russia. There is virtually no "communism" evident at all in everyday life. They have jobs, stores, groceries, buses, and everything else we have. They don't have as much money as we do, but things don't cost nearly as much either. Most of my dinners included a big plate of delicious, spicy chicken and peanuts and a big beer for about 2-3 US dollars. And keep in mind, that's eating out.

Now I do know that saying that all of China equals Beijing/Shanghai is like saying that all of America equals New York/Los Angeles. They do have their own melting pot going on; over 40 different "races" make up the country. Many different dialects. Different economies. Different everything.

The specifics? I talked on my cellphone while walking on the Great Wall. I wandered around the Forbidden City. I was accosted by peddlers of all sorts while shopping on Wangfujing and East Nanjing Streets. I ate some delicious food on a stick while taking in the amazing view at the Bund. I stood in the center of Tienamen Square, nary a tank in sight. I played in a Texas Hold-Em cash game with an international cast at a bar in Shanghai. No, I didn't win. I used my Google research skills to head off about half a dozen scam artists. (after thinking about it, it really didn't upset me so much. if they end up scamming $40 from me, I would be a little perturbed while they would be able to buy groceries for 2-3 months. can you blame them?) I met a great, new Chinese friend, Evy, who became and remains a wonderful source of information and advice.

I could write for days about each singular day that I spent there, but that's all I have for now. My battery is low and the time is late. Sometimes I forget that I actually have a "job" to wake up for.

Take care! Love you all and I'll drop a line soon.

~tony

ps. I'm going back to China asap! :)

more of the same

Hi everybody.

So.

How's the weather?

Cold enough for you?

I'm not trying to bore you. I feel like I have a responsibility to you all now. You have all been so kind as to follow my thoughts and travels. You've given me some great feedback and been very encouraging in my little adventure. I'm afraid that my life just isn't that exciting on a weekly basis.

I work. I come home. I do some work at home. I have a coffee or what passes for coffee. I eat. I sleep. Maybe I'll go grab a beer or something on the weekend. Perhaps find an event or place to check out, but for every colorful building or monument or mountain or ceremony that I have seen, I have seen 5,000 normal, everyday things, both good and bad.

I've seen a co-worker pretending to make herself busy as the vice principal walks by.

I've seen a man absentmindedly talking on his cell phone as he's trying to merge into traffic.

I've seen a 3 year old doing the "popsicle dance". You know the one. If you don't, go find yourself a 3 year old, hand them a popsicle, and watch what they do.

I've seen a smiling high school couple waiting to cross the street, so ecstatic and nervous to just be standing next to each other. (If someone was "selling" feelings, that's the one I'd buy.)

I've seen a young woman trying to hide her face as she talks on a cell phone in the corner of a restaurant, tears running down her cheeks.

I've seen the waitress freeze in the middle of the restaurant, looking back and mouthing something as she moves her index finger through the air, recalling her last order and planning her next mission.

I've seen rude people, gracious people, people with alterior motives, and people who are simply happy to be doing whatever it is that they're doing.

There are young girls who want to grow up way too quickly.

There are shy, awkward boys who play too many video games and who will hit their 30s before they find themselves or anyone else. (sound familiar?)

There are strong but weary mothers who push a child down a sunny sidewalk in a wheelchair, as a younger sibling skips behind.

There are men who think they are more than they are.

There are people who look down on and ridicule anyone who doesn't speak their language. Thankfully, they are greatly outnumbered by people who understand why we, as foreigners, are in their country in the first place.

There are so many familiar sights here; rocks, benches, leafless trees, city workers, drizzle, garbage, minivans, stunning flowers, ipods, you-are-here maps, people walking dogs, and so on and so on.

Boring to read about, I'm sure.

I guess I don't look at it as boring though. It almost feels....refreshing at times. Resfreshing to know that these people and this place that would appear to be so different....are not.

Clearly there ARE differences. If you've been reading this blog, you'll have heard me speak of more than a couple. There's a few cultural gaps between America and Korea. There are amazing sights to see. There are incredible places to behold. There is the occasional mystery food(i'm now leaning toward not trying the raw, freshly-chopped-up, still-moving baby octopus tentacles. i have my reasons).

I'm just saying that it's nice to know that you can go halfway around the world and there are certain things that won't change.

God knows, I'm still the same. I still smile some days and frown others. I still make mistakes. I still surprise myself from time to time with something awesome. I watch, I listen, and I try to learn. And sometimes I even SPEAK!!! hehe

So,

next time I promise to write about something more Anthony Bourdain-like. For today, everyday life will have to do.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! Much love from my Seoul!!!

~tony

ps. i hope this post didn't discourage anyone from coming to visit. i promise if you do, we'll go see the cool stuff and not just sit around people watching!

Dobong pics

Climb every san.

san = mountain

Two weekends ago my friend Shana and I took on a mountain, Dobongsan. Seoul is virtually surrounded by mountains, especially to the north. These aren't exactly the Rockies, but they are mountains; sheer face rock climbers included. They are all basically national parks, and you can usually get to the top of one in just a few hours.

Hiking is a "hobby" here. More than that...an obsession. Here was our day:

Wanting to get an early start, we had set a goal of reaching the mountain around 7:00 am. Reality and the snooze button had other plans, so 8:30 it was. Mount Dobong is on the northern edge of town and you can get fairly close to it via the subway, so we hit the station to wait for a train heading north. This was Sunday, so countless Koreans were out and about. We did notice that well over 90% of the people at the station and on our train had on hiking gear.

"Gear" is a funny thing here. Whatever you do, you need to have gear. For golfers, there is a part of town that has literally HUNDREDS of golf shops, some of which sell clubs but most sell golf clothes. Apparently, you've really got to "look the part" around here. Hiking is no different. You need to be wearing an $80 breathable lycra long sleeve shirt. You need matching pants. You need $130 hiking boots. You need fingerless gloves. You need a mesh cap with a tiny bill. You need a tundra-type backpack with god knows what inside. You need 2 aluminum walking poles with grippy bottoms. If you don't have the gear, you need to get with the program!

We were not with it. T-shirts. Jeans. 1 backpack between the 2 of us. Tennis shoes. Downright foolishness!!

Anywho....we get to the subway stop indicated from our directions. We make a move to get off, but NONE of the other hikers moved a muscle. Okay. We now have about 3.5 seconds to decide whether to continue with our own directions and jump through the door or follow the herd to wherever they might take us.

Now I know what lemmings feel like.

We followed the crowd out at the next exit, across the street, and down a side street toward the mountain in the distance. Keep in mind this is a crowd to be counted not by the tens, but by the hundreds. It was kind of surreal. We passed countless various stands and shops selling everything from cotton candy to Korean food of all sorts to the latest in North Face hiking supplies.

We winded through various back alleys and small streets up to the park gate and went on through. Shortly thereafter, we found a sign with a map and plotted our course. The paths are very well laid-out and well organized. The bathrooms at "base camp" were clean and modern. (i'll tell you about the "un-modern" bathrooms later) The weather was perfect; sunny with a cool breeze. The leaves here are changing as we speak, so it made for a beautiful morning and an amazing start to the day.

You don't need a play by play of the hike. I'll add some pictures that can speak much more eloquently than I can. I will say this though:

It was about the weirdest "nature" adventure that I've ever had. Don't get me wrong. It was beautiful. The strange part was the people, the throngs of people everywhere you look. If you hold your arms out in any direction you will probably poke someone. If you walk too fast you will probably have to pause as the people ahead of you slow up.

As if the mountain itself wasn't beautiful enough, along the way there were large and small Buddhist temples tucked into the rock. I have no clue how they were built there, but there they were, almost magical, secluded havens. They had beautiful, colorful rooofwork and statues of various sizes. I'm not Buddhist, but you definitely don't have to be to appreciate these temples. They were here long before the railed pathways and the cotton candy stand.

After a lot of climbing(and a little sitting) we reached the peak. Two peaks actually. The view was amazing, overlooking the city to the south and the countryside everywhere else. Now, there were paths and rails to help climb along the way, but the peak itself was just that, a peak. Considering how many people flooded this area, I'm surprised that we didn't see anyone fall to their death. It was a crowded rock and a looong drop.

We perched ourselves on a "somewhat" safe ledge away from the crowded path and ate our lunch. Shana had Kimbap, kind of like sushi rolls without the meat. I had a hot dog on a stick, the most common way to eat hot dogs here apparently. We split our "reward" for completing our mission, an Oreo cookie wafer, and relaxed for a bit.

You know.......memories are strange. We all have certain memories that last forever, certain moments that are etched into the inside of our skulls. As I'm sitting here thinking, I'm realizing that most of those memories for me involve rocks strangely enough. I remember sitting on a huge, weather worn boulder reading a Jon Varley book, overlooking Lake Superior as the grey, choppy waves sprayed cold mist into the air. I remember scaling a cliffed area in South Dakota on a trip for Mr. Frutiger's Advanced Biology class. My friend Heath was always the daredevil growing up, but this time I was the one who dared to stretch and straddle over a huge drop from one secure rock to the next to make it to the top. I remember skipping stones in Pelican Lake, spending hours searching for the perfectly weighted, perfectly sized, perfectly gripable rock. I remember the beach at the Palisades north of Duluth, with it's millions of rocks that were made pristinely round and smooth by centuries of violent waves. The view from this beach was breathtaking, but the stones still stole the show.

I'll remember this day too I think, that lunch on the rocky ledge, wedging my foot against the trunk of a small tree for safety and comfort, eating a cold hot dog. I'll remember waving to the true mountain climber on the "real" peak up above. He waved back as he sat, eating his own lunch, enjoying his better view.

I miss you guys and I hope that at least one or two of you can come and share this with me for a short while. Take care, and I'll be thinking of ya!

~tony

my monogrammed soapbox

So, do you think I can take any other aspect of Korea and twist it into some sort of "life lesson" today? I don't know who I think I'm preaching to, but I promise to tone it down a notch....if I can.

So....I guess I'm popular now. There's that!

It kind of comes with the territory I think. I am a novelty. I am from the culture that many here try to emulate. I speak English, which they all want to learn. I am kind of tall by American standards, and very tall here. I am attempting to learn the language. Even the attempt is viewed with respect by most Koreans. I eat spicy food(yes, that makes me popular). I have blondish hair, and apparently it's thinning isn't an issue. (I'm convinced that they just can't see the top of my head) I am not intentionally rude; this is impressive I guess. I am single; also impressive somehow?!?

What do I mean by popular? Examples:

1. My fellow teachers love me, and by that I mean that one of the English speaking teachers told me how everyone talks about how much they love me all the time.
2. The guy who helped me at the bank gave me his card after 10 minutes and wanted to "be my friend".
3. Two business guys on the subway struck up a conversation yesterday and proceeded to invite me to dinner, drinks, and to watch one of their son's archery competition.(i did not go)
4. The manager at my sandwich shop downstairs starts waving as soon as I get to the curb across the street.
5. Shana, Abby and I were invited to a family's home this weekend for a full dinner. I had met the man once. (i did go)(delicious)(and i crushed their ten-year-old at connect five).
6. The owner of our coffee shop has adopted us and has become a gracious guide to the city.
7. I get invited to go drinking much more often than I prefer to go drinking, which is the reverse from Minnesota.
8. My convenience store guy, my sandwich shop guy, my pet shop girl, and my coffee shop crew all call me by name already. Okay, maybe the pet shop girl knows MANGO's name, but close enough.

Before I go on, I need to clarify something. Some of you are now thinking, "Tony, Tony, Tony. When some guy at the bank asks you to be his friend, he's not asking you to be his ~friend~. *winkwink*"

Not so.

Through American eyes, ALL men here appear to be very metrosexual if you will. The social standards are vastly different. Beyond a manly hug, a handshake, or a shoulder grab, boys/men in the US rarely touch each other. That is not the case here. Friends will touch each other in non-sexual ways quite often, even holding hands sometimes. This appears VERY stange to us perhaps, but it's the way it is here. Men aren't scared of appearing homosexual, so if they think you're a cool guy, they'll ask you to grab a drink. It is weird to me, don't get me wrong. But I'm just a visitor here. I don't get to impose my beliefs on anyone. And if you see two WOMEN walking down the street and they're NOT holding hands it is odd.

Anyways,

I'm really not bragging. People are friendly. I am a rarity here. Some want to show off or practice their English. Some people just want to brag to their friends that they know the waygooks(foreigners). Or like the guys at the basketball court, brag that they BEAT the waygooks. Just because I am tall doesn't mean I can play.

It's just a funny feeling. I could probably get some girls' telephone numbers. I could probably hang out and drink Soju(don't ask) with the guys every weekend. If you knew me very well in my teens or twenties, you may know why I think this is funny.

So, I'm not wrapping this up with some "moral of the story" thing. If you want one, you can write you own. I'm off to bed!

~tony