different

This weeks marks the beginning of the new school year here in Korea. First there was New Year's, then Chinese New Year's, now a new school year. Lots of new beginnings.

It's so tempting to face each new year as a fresh start. A chance to right wrongs. A chance to make great leaps. A chance to be a different person than you are now. A better person.

(I'm not really talking about New Year's resolutions. Today, resolutions are more like Santa Claus. We like to think about them once a year, but we all know they aren't real.)

Maybe you are a self-critical person. Perhaps not, but either way I'd be willing to bet there's something you want to change. Maybe you want to start seriously looking after your body's health. Maybe revive a once deep relationship that has now withered away. Maybe you think you don't voice your love to the ones you love often enough. Or there is something in you that you want to get rid of; an anger, a sadness, a deep wound that just won't heal. Maybe you feel lost, and the new year is a chance to head down a new path. There has to be something, some change. Something to grab hold of and pray that it lifts you forward. or maybe not.

I don't have anything earth-shattering to share, if that's what you're thinking. I've just been in a more contemplative mood as of late. Money has been a little tight, so evenings spent reading or (I admit it) playing games on my computer are the norm. I'm trying to write when I can. I work on my script, if only in my head. I'm cruising through books at a pace that I haven't seen since my literature class days at NDSU. Since I returned from China I have finished Philip Roth's The Plot Against America, Leif Enger's Peace Like a River, Haruki Murakami's After the Quake, and now I'm reading The Shack. Maybe that's why I'm a bit moody. I surround myself with gut-wrenching books!!! hehe

As a side note, I need to make a reccomendation to you. After the Quake is a collection of Short stories by Murakami. He's not a household name in the US, but he is in the rest of the world. He's a Japanese author and Norweigan Wood is his most famous work. The stories in After the Quake are all stories that take place around the time of the huge earthquake that hit Kobe, Japan in 1995. The earthquake is not a main character in the stories, but simply a common thread. Anyways, the final story in the book is titled Honey Pie. It is a love story, but not a traditional one. It is excellent. Simple and touching are two words I'd use to describe it. Sometime you should take 30 minutes of your day and read it. Maybe you won't see it as I do. Who knows. I'll include a link to the story below, in case you don't feel like hunting down the hard copy. And yes, I know that reading a story from a webpage is not the way to go, but hey. It's free!

http://wis.cs.ucla.edu/~hxwang/newyorker/blog/files/honeypiemurakami.html

Speaking of reccomendations, not too long ago a friend here in Korea turned me on to the ancient greek poet Sappho and her fragments. Most of her poetry has been lost, but many small fragments have been recovered and translated. They are very short, some only a few words, but at the same time they are big. Reading them sparked an interest in me to try my hand, and I'm gonna share some of mine with you. If it seems self-serving to submit readers of a travel blog to my amateur poetic endeavors, oh well. As I stated earlier, we all have things that we want to change. Perhaps I want to express myself more. Share more about myself. Stop hiding behind pleasantries and details. Stop looking so hard for the reasons why I shouldn't.

So here ya go. My fragments....


Blues and lavenders
drowning greys and browns.


The calm crown of morning.


Strength and age differ.


As the sun shines,
shadows chill.


To play in the treehouse
today.


Beyond my sight
you are far.


Channeling demons,
a heat
without thought.
Ecstasy.


Grasping at flotsam
but slipping beneath,
into the borrowed world.


If we are mostly water
what is rain?


Without my sowing
I find a flower.


The ultimate trust
or a bending branch,
but a burning all the same.


It feels good to be right,
alone.


I lose sight of my wooded path
up over the coming hill.


Trust a lake or mountain to remain
after 40 years
but little else.


Love doesn't need you
to believe.


My dreams deceive me.


If perfection is unattainable,
redefine.


Vibrant and joyous,
not knowing the world.


I lie awake as Korea dreams.


My love goes out to you all. Take care of yourselves ~tony